


Elementary Particles: reprinted from the reminiscences of Professor Bernice S. Summerfield

by Paul A (pedanther)



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who: Virgin New Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: Bernice Summerfield's Diary, Book 28: All-Consuming Fire, Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Ficathon, Gen, POV Female Character, POV Multiple, Past Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedanther/pseuds/Paul%20A
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>"A lot of the facts have been changed, mind you. I don't remember half of these things happening. And it's odd reading about Holmes and Watson, rather than—"<br/>— Bernice Summerfield, <i>All-Consuming Fire</i><br/></p>
</blockquote> <blockquote>
  <p>"The veiled detective and her fatuous accomplice... You realise Doctor Doyle is almost certainly basing his fantastical tales on your own exploits? With a few choice alterations, of course."<br/>— Doctor Simeon, <i>The Snowmen</i><br/></p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Extracts from collection 0426204152 in the Library of St John the Beheaded: a series of diary entries written on small squares of yellow paper_

_[Compare collection 0426204158: Arthur Conan Doyle's manuscript and research notes for an unpublished novel]_

* * *

_[0426204152/01571]_

"Mr Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson," the Doctor announced.

"Pleased to meet you," I said politely.

Now, I know what you're thinking, diary. Is that all? Why didn't I say something like, 'Sherlock Holmes, eh, I've heard so much about you', or, 'Doctor, you're pulling my leg'?

I might well have done — particularly the latter, given certain details I have yet to relate. But I didn't, for one simple reason.

The truth is, the Doctor didn't actually say "Mr Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson". Not then. Those names didn't come up until some time later. (And that, diary, was when I said "Doctor, you're pulling my leg".)

What the Doctor actually said was

_[01572]_

What the Doctor actually said was, "Madame Vastra and Miss Jenny Flint".

You see, diary? And that's not all.

Madame Vastra was a tall woman, dressed all in black. And I do mean "all" — despite the heat, she was completely covered, with gloves on her hands and a veil on her hat making sure not a trace of skin was visible.

Following the Doctor's introduction, there was a brief pause, during which I got the feeling of being scrutinised from behind that black veil.

Then she said, "You are impersonating a male of your species," which you might think was a bit obvious coming from a famous detective, but it still put her one up on the Doctor.

_[01573]_

"And you're impersonating a female of my species," I returned, which really was a bit obvious, especially after the 'your species' bit, but I wasn't finished. "The Doctor didn't mention you were an Earth Reptile."

I got the impression, somehow, that behind the veil an eyebrow was being raised.

"I'm sorry, is that the wrong term for this time period?" I said. "I don't really remember anything about relations between Earth's intelligent species in this century."

"I understand your meaning," said Madame Vastra. "And, to set your mind at rest, the state of relations between my people and yours at this time could be fairly described as non-existent, with myself as an isolated and individual exception."

_[01574]_

Miss Flint had stayed quiet through all of this, playing the part of the maidservant her outfit proclaimed her, though the way she'd looked at Vastra when I raised the topic of relations between humans and Earth Reptiles had revived a line of speculation I'd already been well down before I'd realised they weren't both human.

Rather than pursue that thought, however, I suggested we hail a taxi and head over to the hotel I'd booked us into, where we could continue our conference out of the heat. I managed to restrain myself from asking if the two ladies minded being in separate rooms.

* * *

_[0426204152/01611]_

"I never got a good look at the manservant's face," I admitted. "Actually, he was doing a very good job of making sure nobody really saw it."

I glanced at Vastra, saw a subtle shift in her expression that I'd never have spotted if she'd still been wearing the veil, and had one of those flashes of inspiration no good detective story is complete without.

"He's one of your people, isn't he?" I asked. "Another isolated and individual exception."

_[01612]_

"I would not go quite so far as to say 'one of my people'," said Vastra. "Ssurd is from a different city, indeed another branch of the species. His people were different from mine in several respects, some of which would be obvious on sight, others less so but no less significant."

"He's the kind with the third eye," I said, nodding, as several things clicked into place. "And the psychic powers: unlock doors without touching them, cloud the minds of men, and of course, mysteriously kill from a distance?"

_[01613]_

"As the unfortunate Mrs Prendersly learned first-hand," said Vastra. "You have encountered these before?"

"Several times since I started travelling with the Doctor," I said. "And even before that, I worked with one on a dig once. Not a bad sociologist, and really handy to have around if you happened to lock yourself out of your hut."

* * *

_[0426204152/01631]_

Over dinner, I told them a few stories about Earth Reptiles I'd known in my student days. Vastra and Jenny listened attentively. So did the Doctor, to my surprise; apparently, I haven't told him any of these anecdotes before. Occasionally, I caught him frowning at insignificant details, as if something was bothering him.

Then it was Vastra's turn to tell us about one of her old cases — and, it transpired, my turn to frown over some of the details.

"Excuse me a moment," I said to Vastra and Jenny, once I was sure of what I was hearing. "Doctor, a word?"

_[01632]_

When we were out of earshot, I said, "Half a crown says it was the cab-driver who dun it."

"It was," said the Doctor. "Vastra's told me about this case before. Did you figure that out by yourself?"

"No," I said, "I recognised it. Apart from the details that wouldn't fly in an 1887 detective story, it's a dead ringer for the Lauriston Gardens mystery in the first Sherlock Holmes novel. Are you sure she isn't borrowing from Doyle to embroider her legend?"

_[01633]_

"It's rather the other way around," said the Doctor. "This _is_ 1887, remember. 'A Study in Scarlet' won't see print for a few months yet."

I glanced back at the two women seated at the dining table. "Are you saying...?"

"That Vastra and Jenny are the original Holmes and Watson, yes."

"Doctor," I said, "you're pulling my leg."


	2. Coda: San Francisco

_The Doctor had set out to retrieve the TARDIS with a breezy assurance that no matter how long it took him to reach it he'd be back before they knew he was gone._

_That had been several hours ago._

_Looking on the bright side, it had given Benny time to bring her diary up to date. And then, when there was still no sign of the Doctor, to compose several increasingly-creative revisions._

_She stuck the Post-It bearing the latest revision into her diary, and looked around to make sure the others were still within her field of vision. Just so they'd all be in one place when the Doctor did turn up, of course; the detective duo had proven they could look after themselves, and she'd long known the same was true of Ace._

_Come to think of it, quite a few of their recent adventures had involved going it alone, with the Doctor setting them to work at a problem from different ends. Here on Earth, of course, and before that on Menaxus, and before that on Peladon, in the midst of that diplomatic conference where the talking rodents had been perhaps the least weird thing around..._

_A thought struck her. She grinned, and reached for another Post-It._

* * *

_[0426204152/02971]_

What the Doctor actually said was, "Mr Philip St John Basil and Doctor David Q. Dawson".

"Pleased to meet you," I said politely.

I didn't smell a rat, so to speak, until later, when their holographic disguises malfunctioned. And that, diary, was when I said "Doctor, you're pulling my leg".

And also, "Sherlock Holmes, eh? Somehow, I expected you to be taller."


End file.
